Al Sharpton Confesses

Hello, my name is the Rev Al Sharpton.

I went to the doctor today, and for some reason he gave me Sodium Pentothal, truth serum, by mistake.

So I have a burning need to get to a computer and finally tell the truth for a change.

I’m a charlatan, race-hustler, and attack dog for the Democrat Party!

Boy, that feels good to say at last. My church is the National Action Network. Although it’s not really a church, it’s a nonprofit organization I use to steal taxpayers money.

It’s a really sweet hustle we Democrats love to use to put money in our pockets. And I’m not the only one either. My boy, Congressman Gregory Meeks started a nonprofit to raise money for Hurricane Katrina survivors. He raised about, oh, $30K. But, do you think any of that money made it to New Orleans?

Hell no…sorry Lord!

That was a real smooth hustle Greg pulled off.

But, Greg doesn’t have anything on my Latino brother, state senator Pedro Espada who started a health care clinic, but the only thing that got healthy was his bank account to the tune of millions.

Good one Pedro.

Que Viva Puerto Rico!

You see these guys learned from me. I’m the Mater of the Racial Disaster, baby!

All I have to do is threaten a demonstrate and these big corporations slip me wads of cash for me to go away. Works every time!

But, it doesn’t end there.

You see I’m the most prominent African American leader in the country. It used to be Jesse Jackson, but that damn fool got a woman pregnant while he was counseling Bill Clinton during that Monica thing.

Dumb bastard!

So, now I’m numero uno!

Well, I have a plane to catch, I’m going to Arizona.

The preceding was a parody.

But, it’s still the truth.



The Last Tradition